December Newsletter

Dear 2020 and the most professionally unproductive, terribly awful, no good, horribly bad year that has yet to end –

While I am almost certain that nearly every individual out there probably feels this way currently- or has at some point in their life- I have yet to stumble upon anything truly positive that has happened this year, professionally speaking of course. Seems to be the story of my life for at least the past twelve years despite making every effort to wiggle my way out of the giant rut that I was born into- not joking. Literally spent my early years collecting dust along the ruts of the farm. Obviously, has it’s charm at times and has inspired most of my novels and styles in some way or another, but it isn’t necessarily the best place for making connections, moving forward, or convincing anyone that you or your work is worth the time of day. And the dust seems to follow me everywhere I go no matter what…. Since leaving, I question daily, Is it me? Is my work that terribly awful? And why are novels and designs not even regarded as work (or difficult work nonetheless) unless you are the one in a million who has the splashy cover, the best seller, and the celebrity endorsed piece? How many writers, actors, musicians, and artists do you never hear about because they didn’t get the break or recognition? Does it mean they don’t work as hard or even harder?

These are questions I struggle with daily after watching my parents struggle decade after decade after decade. Why continue to pursue work that doesn’t give you any financial success or recognition of any kind? Is no one else bothered that certain work counts as being so inventive, so genius, so woke, so ground breaking, so creative, so…. I completely understand that talent, luck, personality, and being persistent all play a role, but what if you were just born in the wrong decade and have no interest in playing the games that dominate media? Just a few complications that I seem to question and struggle with everyday as I wonder why I even try when frustration, discouragement, and all around bad feelings follow every sentence, character, and design. If you’ve been born into dust, will it always remain? If you’re just another Aquarius with shifty tendencies- unrealistic dreams and lofty ambitions included- do you even stand a chance in hell of convincing someone that you work really hard every day, and that you’re truly not a flake?

Stumbling into 2021, Paperwaif will continue to pursue literary agents for Miss Mannequin until this novel also fails. Then it’s designing paper dolls, writing a new stand alone story, more lifestyle magazines, and a major move to rainbows, pineapple treehouses, and kona coffee! For anyone else who has had a terribly disappointing professional year- most don’t even realize that I actually do more than piling laundry, burning meals, shuttling kids, scrubbing tiles, sparkling toilets, cleaning yards, and painting the house, all while having asthma attacks- mine couldn’t have been more of a colossal failure. To making failing look amazing with snowflake styles and new year directions.

Leaving the crappiest year behind and not looking back…

xoxo, Paperwaif